Signs we might be doing a bad job

I saw this article on the yahoo! updates. I thought it would be interesting to make a comparison between a boss and a parent. If these signs can show that we are hindering growth and development of those under us in the workplace, how much more would they apply to those under us in our own homes?

1. Are we short when answering our kids or our husbands? Do we take the time to "communicate" with them and give an explanation to the hows and whys? Do we consider how they might be feeling about something? Do we make those feelings a priority?

2. Do we sit and have conversations with our family members or is it mostly passer-by words, or yelling information through the house or car?

3. Is there an atmosphere of joy and excitement in our homes, or of gloom and boredom?

4. Does it feel like everything is rushed and hurried? Like nothing is getting done?

5. Are we yelling? Are we shouting? Even when we are not angry? Will our kids be able to tell the difference?

Should we be yelling even when we are angry? This answer is NO!! Those around us need to be able to listen to "what" we are saying and not "how" we are saying it? Keep the focus on the words and not on the attitude. A bad attitude can change the entire atmosphere of a home faster than almost anything. When a child even senses anxiety in the air, especially from the people who are looked on as their protectors, their whole demeanor and attitude can change. It may seem as if they are not listening to you, but in reality they are having a hard time focusing on anything you are saying because of what has been triggered emotionally inside them and in the atmosphere around them.

People are are told and trained to remain calm in emergency situations. Once panic breaks out, it is hard to provide any sort of safety for anyone. When a building fire alarm sounds, you are to slowly and calmly exit the building. I think of high school. The teachers would remind everyone to be calm- they set the emotion, and discouraged fear by their own attitudes and actions.

We set the emotions in our home. The little ones that are looking to us need to see the calm to help keep their emotions at bay. It should not be, "I did something wrong and now Mommy is angry". Yes, we will get angry. Even Jesus got angry when he saw what was meant for God being used for evil. The Bible says be angry and sin not. First of all, if we are going to get angry it needs to be for a righteous reason. If our children disobey, they need to have a consequence, anger should never be a consequence to their behavior. We should not try and punish our kids by showing that they have let us down and that what "they" have done is making us angry. It is not about us!!!!! That is what we need to show them. We need to show them how God feels about the choice that they have made, and what God tells us as a parent to do about it. It is very easy to forget that ultimately our children are not disobeying us, but are disobeying God.
Here is the article from Yahoo!.

Five Signs You're a Bad Boss

by Diana Middleton
Friday, February 18, 2011

provided by

When the number of employees Matt Kaplan managed at a lab at the University of Arizona in Tucson mushroomed from six to 30, the school called in a management coach to make sure he was prepared. What he learned surprised him -- his employees thought he was distant and didn't trust their work.

"The biggest challenge for me was realizing I couldn't do everything myself," he says. "I had to learn to trust my team, which was a gradual process."

Experts say many bosses are similarly clueless about their appearance to employees. Here are five signals you may be one of them.

1. Most of your emails are one-word long.

It may be efficient, but many bosses don't realize how curt a one-word email -- even a simple "yes" or "no" -- can be, says Barbara Pachter, a management coach and author of several workplace etiquette books. She calls it the "BlackBerry effect."

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"Managers have a tendency to be abrupt, especially when they're answering emails on the go," Ms. Pachter says. "It comes off as an invitation for conflict. A simple addition of 'thanks' goes a long way."

Some managers craft even shorter emails. When Christina Marcus emailed an idea for a project to a former boss, he responded "Y." Thinking he was questioning her idea, she spent 20 minutes crafting a response. Turns out, the "Y" meant "yes," not "why." Ms. Marcus eventually left the firm.

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2. You rarely talk to your employees face-to-face.

Relying on email may be convenient, but bosses are increasingly using technology to avoid having tough discussions, says Robert Sutton, professor at Stanford University and author of "Good Boss, Bad Boss."

"No one wants to do the dirty work, but it's a boss' lot in life to deal with difficult issues," Mr. Sutton says. Face-time engenders trust with employees, adds Ms. Pachter.

3. Your employees are out sick -- a lot.

Employees will fake sickness to avoid a bad boss, says Mr. Sutton. But there's evidence that a bad boss may be bad for your health. A 2008 Swedish study that tracked more than 3,000 men over 10 years found that the men who said they were poorly managed at work were 20%-40% more likely to have a heart attack.

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4. Your team's working overtime, but still missing deadlines.

New bosses are particularly prone to giving unmanageable deadlines to staffers, says Gini Graham Scott, author of "A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses."

A human resources executive at a New York firm who declined to be named because she's currently looking for a new position, says that she began working 15-hour days after her new boss came on board. Her boss' first order of business: Promising more aggressive deadlines to clients. "She would tell the client, 'We can have this for you in three days,' which was impossible," says this woman.

5. You yell.

Even if you aren't screaming angrily at your employees, speaking loudly can damage workplace morale, says Ms. Pachter, the management coach. "Employees will constantly feel like they're being reprimanded, and they'll avoid you if there's ever a problem," she says.

At one of Ms. Marcus' former jobs every debate was a public forum, she says. "My bosses would shout freely across the office, even when they weren't necessarily angry," she says. "It charged the atmosphere and really killed productivity, especially when you were trying to figure out who you should be listening to."